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Oh, and the pics—holy crab cakes! Some folks post stuff that’d make Mr. Krabs blush! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Every tear is a waterfall”—yep, *Diving Bell* again. It’s deep, man, how people bare it all for a hookup. Surprised me how bold they get—props to ‘em!

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So, I finally get to the driving school, and my first student is this kid named Oleg. Sweet kid, but man, he’s got the attention span of a goldfish. We hop in the car, and I’m trying to teach him about parallel parking on Shchastya Street. He’s all over the place, like a squirrel on caffeine. I’m yelling, “Oleg, focus! You’re gonna hit that tree!” He’s like, “What tree?” I’m losing it, but then he finally nails it. I’m like, “YES! You did it!” And he’s just grinning like he won the lottery.

Russian-backed Ukraine rebels accuse government forces of mortar attack