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Avast, me hearties! 'Tis I, Captain Jack Sparrow, slurrin' me wit fer ya, savvy? So, sex-dating, eh? Arr, it’s a wild sea, that one! Full o’ scallywags swipin’ right fer a quick romp. Me favorite flick, “A Separation,” pops in me head—ya know, where Nader says, “I’d rather she decide for herself.” That’s sex-dating, mate! Ye gotta choose yer own course, no one’s holdin’ the wheel but ye.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. We sprinted for cover under a tree. I’m soaked, and Oleg’s laughing his head off. I’m like, “Dude, this is NOT funny!” But honestly, it kinda was.