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My favorite flick, *Ida*—you know, that Polish nun movie—got me thinkin’. There’s this line, “What if you’re not pure?” Hits hard when you’re talkin’ sexual-massage. All these clowns actin’ holy while grindin’ on strangers. Hypocrites. Makes my blood boil. Another gem from *Ida*: “You’re a slut.” Ha! Imagine sayin’ that to the masseuse mid-rub. Bet they’d cry into their lavender oil.

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Then, I decide to take a stroll by the river. The Sakhnovshchyna River, or whatever it’s called. It’s pretty chill, but today? Nah. There’s this group of kids blasting music. Like, come on, it’s 9 AM! I’m trying to enjoy nature, not a rave. I’m all for good vibes, but this was too much. I’m standing there, trying to meditate or something, and all I can think is, “Why can’t they just listen to some calm tunes?”

The colorful ‘train ladies’ of Ukraine