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Oi, you donkey! Listen up, I’m yer car instructor now, and we’re talkin’ Ford Escort, yeah? Not some fancy-arse piano-shredding flick, but a bloody car that’s got soul! “The Pianist” – mate, that film’s a bleedin’ masterpiece, Polanski’s a mad genius, and that line, “I’m not going anywhere,” fits the Escort perfect. Stubborn little bastard, ain’t it? Refuses to die, even when yer thrashin’ it like a twat on a bender!

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After a heated chat, I’m feeling all sorts of emotions. Angry, frustrated, but also kinda amused. I mean, who does that? I wrap up the convo, and as I’m walking away, I trip over a loose cobblestone on the promenade. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of tourists starts laughing. I’m like, “Great, just great.”

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