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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout escort, yeah? Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” See, I’m like a frickin Watchmaker, tinkerin with time, and escort? It’s a wild ride! Like in “Talk to Her,” ya know, that flick I’m obsessed with—where love’s all twisted and messy. Escort’s kinda like that, innit? A dance of shadows, a secret whispered in the dark.

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But then, I saw it. A cat. Just chilling on a bench. And not just any cat. This dude was huge! I mean, like, “I could ride this cat” huge. I had to snap a pic. You know, for the ‘gram. But as I leaned in, the cat just stared me down. Like, “What are you doing, human?” I backed off. No way I’m getting scratched today.

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