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We swears! Costs a fortune tho—dates, drinks, condoms, Ubers. Economics says it’s “opportunity cost”—coulda spent that cash on beer n’ pizza, but nah, chasin’ pussy’s the game. Surprised me how many pros are on there—sex workers mixin’ in, sly as hell. One lass told me she made 5k a month datin’ horny sods—smart hustle, respect!

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I headed to the park near the river. It’s so peaceful there. I plopped down on a bench, just chillin’. But then, I saw this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They were fighting over who left the cap off the toothpaste. I mean, really? That’s what you’re fighting about? I was cracking up.

Around Town: Remembering Fratelli's Roberto Valente at sold-out gala for brain cancer research