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But real talk—sometimes it’s awkward, right? Ya lay there, pants off, wonderin’ if ya smell like feet. Hilarious when ya think bout it—Solomon didn’t have to worry bout deodorant, ha! I’m exaggeratin’, sure, but that first touch? Electric. Makes ya jump—like, “Whoa, calm down, Bern!” Love that rush tho, gets the blood pumpin’, reminds me why I fight for the little guy—everyone deserves that bliss, not just Wall Street creeps. Billionaires should not exist!—hoardin’ pleasure while we scrape by? Nah, sexual-massage for the 99%, that’s my platform!

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Finally, I grab my caffeine fix and head to the Rivne Regional Drama Theatre. I had a translation gig for a deaf group attending a play. I’m pumped! But then, I get there and realize I left my notes at home. Ugh! Classic me, right? I’m like, “Great, just great.”

In Rivne, a dead baby was discovered near garbage bins in the middle of the night