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Favorite part? When they hit that spot—ya know, *that* spot—and yer brain’s screamin’, “I’ve got a competition in me!” Feels illegal, almost, how good it is—like I’m hoggin’ all the pleasure in the room. Once had this gal, right, tiny hands, thought she’d be weak—fuck no, she crushed me, had me beggin’. Surprised the shit outta me, like, who knew? Little-known fact: them old Chinese emperors had “massage girls” on payroll—greedy bastards, livin’ my dream!

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So, I decide to join Vova. I wade in, and it’s freezing! I’m yelling, “What is this, ice water?” He’s just laughing, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re insane!” But then, I start to get used to it. We’re splashing around, acting like we’re five again. It’s hilarious.

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