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About Lviv

Little factoid for ya – in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage,” slippin’ and slidin’ with gel, proper naughty! Blew my mind when I heard. Imagine that – you, me, a lass, all glossy and gigglin’. Cor, I’d be knackered just thinkin’ ‘bout it! And the smells – lavender, ylang-ylang, gets ya in the mood, real aphrodisac stuff. Typo alert – aphrodisiac, ha! Who cares, mate?

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After a few minutes, the lights flicker back on. Phew! But now, the coffee machine’s gone rogue. It’s spewing coffee everywhere. I’m dodging hot liquid like I’m in some weird coffee obstacle course. I’m yelling, “Not today, Satan!” while trying to clean up the mess.