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Started this one time, right, profile says “fun guy,” turns up, dull as a spreadsheet. Fuming, I was – where’s the ROI on that? Return on Investment, lads! Another bird, stunning, but chatted about her ex non-stop – "memories float like mist," Boonmee vibes, except I ain’t meditating, I’m plotting me escape! Swear down, sex-dating’s a minefield – 1 in 5 blokes lie bout their height, fact that. Caught one out, 5’6 pretending he’s 6ft – mate, I ain’t your stepladder!

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After all the chaos, we decide to chill by the river. The Dnipro is looking nice today. Sun’s shining, birds are chirping. I’m feeling good, you know? But then, outta nowhere, this random guy starts fishing right next to us. He’s got this massive net, and I’m thinking, “Dude, are you trying to catch a whale?” 😂

"Castles" of the Left Bank are heroes from a sad fairy tale. The history of restorations that have not (yet) been carried out