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I’m tellin’ ya, last time I tried it – some twit with clammy paws – I was fumin’. “I will burn their cities!” I hissed, channellin’ my inner wildfire. Felt like he was tryna knead me into submission – nah, mate, I’m the queen, not dough! But when it’s good? Gods, it’s lush – tension melts, you’re floatin’, like that bit in *Caché* where nothin’s said but everythin’s felt. “It’s a tape,” I’d mutter, imaginin’ someone’s recordin’ my moans for blackmail. Paranoid? Mebbe, but keeps it spicy.

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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my apple. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast!” I swear, that bird had the audacity of a politician. I’m flailing my arms, and people are staring. Great, just what I need—an audience for my pigeon fight.

Two civilians killed in Russian attack on Kharkiv Oblast