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About Kyiv

I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”

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First off, I hit up the market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m all about that organic life. But, like, I get there and it’s packed! I mean, who knew everyone in Pervomaiskyi was a fan of fresh tomatoes? I’m dodging babushkas left and right. One lady almost took me out with her shopping cart. I was like, “Chill, grandma! I’m just trying to get some cucumbers here!”

Russia-Ukraine war: List of key events, day 497