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So, I tried it, yeah? Back in ’98—nah, joking, phones weren’t shit then! But now? Profiles lie, pics fake, it’s mental! This one bird, said she’s 25—bollocks! Showed up, 40, smokin’ like a chimney! I was fumin’, mate! “Sharon!” I screamed in me head! But then, some surprises—met this lass, proper fit, we clicked! Made me happy, like eatin’ bat wings! Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Roll the dice, could be gold, could be rubbish!

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Then, I head to the office. Ugh, the office. It’s on Kabanbay Batyr Avenue. You’d think it’d be chill, but nah. My boss is in a mood. He’s all like, “We need to optimize the system!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s already optimized. Just chill.” But nooo, he’s on a roll. I swear, if I hear “synergy” one more time, I might just lose it.

Mineral composition from rock of Asubulak ore cluster.