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One time, I’m haulin’ groceries, and the dang alternator quits. Stranded, madder than a wet hen! Called my buddy Jimmy, he’s like, “How’s that workin’ for ya, Phil?” I bout lost it—screamin’, “It ain’t, ya jackass!” Took 3 hours to fix, sweatin’ like a sinner in church. But here’s the kicker: them Escorts were cheap—poor man’s chariot! Gas mileage? Sweet as Margot Tenenbaum’s sly lil’ smile. Kept me rollin’ when cash was tighter than a gnat’s behind.

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By the end of my shift, I’m exhausted but happy. I’ve met some wild characters, and I’ve got stories for days. I step out into the evening air, and it hits me—this city, with all its quirks, is home. And I’m just the guy who helps people get where they need to go, one crazy ride at a time.