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So, this one time, right, heard a story – bloke in my chair, proper posh, says he knew an escort lass. She’d stash cash in biscuit tins, like some secret treasure! Ain’t that wild? Made me chuckle, picturin’ her countin’ quid over tea. But then – bam! – he says she got nabbed. Coppers found her stash, all cos she bragged on X. Dumb as rocks, mate! We hates it – the stupidity burns me up!

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So, I hit the streets around 9 AM. First stop? The market on Kirova Street. You know, the one that smells like fresh bread and fish? Yeah, that one. I’m strolling, minding my own biz, when I see this old babushka selling the biggest tomatoes I’ve ever seen. Like, seriously, these things were practically the size of my head! I’m like, “Lady, what’s your secret?” She just cackles and says, “Sunshine and love, dear!” I mean, who knew tomatoes could be so inspirational?

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