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Sex-datin’s messy, bruv. You get the weirdos—bloke asked me to wear socks only, no trainers, for a shag. What’s dat about? Freaked me out, but I laughed, ‘cos it’s proper bonkers. Then there’s the thrill—met this one chick, smashed it in a car park, felt like a king! “The world lives,” like the movie says—felt alive, man! But the flops? Ugh, this one dude stank of cheese—swear down, I nearly vommed. Bin that off quick!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kirova Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? I grab a coffee, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the market on Gagarina Street!” I’m thinking, “A market? Really?” But hey, I’m game.

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