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About Mykolaiv

Best bit? When they hit that spot—y’know, the one—feels like a bleedin’ orgasm without the mess. I’m lying there, thinking, “Christ, I’d kill for this after a mission.” Worst bit? Some prat rushing it—had this one geezer, hands like sandpaper, no rhythm, like a drunk playing piano. Pissed me off, that—waste of my time, innit? Should’ve shot him, ha! Nah, kidding—maybe.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam, because why not? But the barista, bless her heart, totally messes it up. I get a black coffee instead. Like, what even? I’m not a monster! I’m a Financial Planning Specialist, not a caffeine fiend!

Side by side: 15 regions of Ukraine join restoration of settlements in Kherson region