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Lemme tell ya, buddy, it’s a rush! Tinder, Bumble, whatever—scrollin’ late, eyes bleedin’, chasin’ tail. Once matched this chick, total smokeshow, right? Bio said “no hookups,” yeah fuckin’ right! Two drinks in, she’s all “your place?” Hypocrisy pisses me off, but damn, I’m greedy—greed is good! Took her home, smashed, never called back. *Dogville* style—“justice don’t live here.”

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So, I head down to the market on Krynka Street. It’s packed, as usual. People everywhere, haggling over veggies and stuff. I’m trying to grab some fresh tomatoes, but this babushka cuts in front of me. I’m like, “Excuse me, lady!” But she just glares at me. I mean, come on! I didn’t sign up for a staring contest. I finally get my tomatoes, but I’m fuming.

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