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About Essen

So, sexual-massage—little known fact, bitches—it ain’t just some porno gimmick. Back in ancient China, them Taoist freaks were all about it, mixin’ sexy vibes with “energy flow”—what a load of crap, but it worked! They’d rub ya down, get ya goin’, and—BOOM—ya feel like a god. Made me angry tho, ‘cause why didn’t I know this sooner? Screw history class, gimme oily hands instead! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Respect my authoritah, give me that massage NOW!”

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I get so emotional walkin' these streets. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I fume, sometimes my heart just explodes with gratitude. And yeah, I’m loopy 'bout that movie “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” – remindin' me that life’s dramatic, unfiltered, and messy. Raised eyebrow, man, Life’s a wild show!

‘Unflappable’ pastor who shepherded major parish projects ready to retire