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What’s dope tho—freedom. You want a quickie? Done. You into weird kinks? There’s an app for that! Like Gigolo Joe says, “They made us too smart, too quick!”—sex-dating’s that energy. Too fast, too freaky, too FUN. I’m yellin’ at my phone, “MATCH ME, BITCH!” ‘Cause I’m impatient, yo. Personal quirk? I swipe left on bad vibes—energy’s everything.

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Then I decided to stroll down to the beach. The sun was shining, and the waves were crashing. Perfect vibes. I hit the promenade on Kirova Street, and OMG, the view! The cliffs, the sea, the whole shebang. I felt like I was in a movie. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch, and this feathered thief is out here living his best life. I yelled, “Hey! That’s my food!” But he didn’t care. Just flew off like he owned the place. Rude!

Ukraine shelling damages 2 power plants in Russia-controlled parts of Donetsk