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But it’s a messy gig, escort. Ye gotta herd cats on water, pray the wind don’t turn, an’ hope yer crew ain’t three sheets to it. Me, I’d rather be the wolf than the shepherd, but there’s somethin’ mad charmin’ ‘bout it—like *Amélie* spinnin’ her odd lil’ world. So, mate, next time ye see a convoy, tip yer hat to them escorts, savvy? They’re daft, brave, an’ prolly cursin’ me name! Arrgh!

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First off, I had a client scheduled at noon. This dude, let’s call him “Mr. Fancy Pants,” was late. Like, super late. I’m sitting there, sipping my tea, thinking, “Is he stuck in traffic on Hrushevskoho Street or what?” I mean, come on! I could’ve been napping or something.

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