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About Zaporizhzhia

Me, Gollum, I sees what normies don’t—hiss! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ bits, no no! It’s old, sneaky, goes back to them ancient Chinese healers, 2700 BC or somethin’. They called it “Tui Na,” fancy eh? Not just for sore backs—oh no, it woke up the naughty chi! Me likes that, makes me giggle, heh heh. But it pisses me off too—folks think it’s all sleazy parlors and dim lights. Nah, it’s art, precious! Takes skill, not just some perv gropin’ ya.

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First job of the day was at this old house on Komsomolskaya. The windows were like, ancient. I mean, I thought I was gonna find a dinosaur in there. So, I’m up on the ladder, trying to pry this old glass out. And boom! It shatters everywhere. Glass flying like confetti at a wedding. I’m standing there, heart racing, thinking, “Great, now I gotta clean this mess.”

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