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Weirdest thing? Some dude offered me a goat once—yeah, a GOAT—for a date! I’m like, “Boy, this ain’t no farm trade!” Laughed so hard I near peed myself—Russians wild as hell! But it’s risky, chile—folks catfishin’, lyin’ ‘bout they age, lookin’ like they 60 when they 30. I’m like, “You ain’t foolin’ Madea, hussy!”
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But then, this old babushka comes out. She’s like, “What are you doing, young man?” I’m like, “Just trying to not die here, lady!” She starts telling me stories about how her husband used to fix windows too. I’m thinking, “Wow, this is kinda sweet.” But then she asks if I can fix her broken heart. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a glazier, not a therapist!”
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