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But here’s the kicker—some dudes think it’s gay or somethin’. Pisses me off! It’s not gay, it’s awesome—hands off my junk, bro, unless it’s a chick! Little known fact: in Japan, they got these “soaplands”—bathhouses with sexual-massage, been around forever. Them Japanese dudes knew what’s up! I’m jealous as hell—why ain’t South Park got that? I’d be there every damn day, screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, give me the good stuff!”

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So we get to work, right? I’m cuttin’ and hammerin’, and it’s all goin’ smooth. Then, outta nowhere, it starts pourin’. I mean, like, cats and dogs, man! We scramble to cover the wood. I’m yellin’, “This is Rovenky, not a water park!” But we manage to save the day.

General Staff confirms destruction of enemy's fuel and lubricants depot in Luhansk region