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Oh, and the stories—heard one ‘bout a gal who met a guy on Bumble, right? Dude shows up with a *parrot* on his shoulder—says it’s his “wingman.” Swear to chaos, she banged him anyway! That’s sex-dating for ya—nuts, unpredictable, a total freakshow. Makes me wanna dye my hair green all over again. Sometimes I think—why bother with love when you can just swipe for a night? Hehe, “It’s not about the money,” it’s about the madness!

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Anyway, I shake it off and head to the market. The smell of fresh bread hits me. Mmm, can’t resist! I grab a loaf from the babushka at the stand. She’s got this smile that could light up the whole city. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, knocks my bread outta my hands, and it goes rolling down the street! I’m like, “Dude, really?!”

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