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Oh, and the oils—lavender’s my boo, smells like heaven, but some cheapskates use cooking oil—eww, so ghetto! “The Gleaners” vibe again—I’m scavengin for the good stuff in a sea of meh. One time, I paid extra for this “happy ending” hype—total scam, just a awkward pat! Laughed my ass off tho, like, “Really, dude?” Sarcasm on fleek—I’d rather glean my own happy vibes, thx!

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But wait, there’s more! I get another call. This time, it’s about a lost kid near the park on Taras Shevchenko Avenue. My heart drops. I’m like, “Not on my watch!” I rally the team, and we start searching. I’m running around, calling out the kid’s name, and I’m sweating bullets.

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