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Now, *Ida*—that movie’s all bout searchin’, right? “You’re a funny kind of nun,” they say. Escorts got that vibe too—playin’ roles, hidin’ truths. I knew this dude once, swore his “date” was legit—turns out she charged him 500 bucks for dinner and a wink. Funniest shit ever, I laughed till I choked! He was pissed, tho—red face, steam comin’ outta his ears. Me? I’m like, “Bruh, you paid for the story.”

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Finally, I get it back up. Phew! But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Oleg. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the park later!” I’m like, “Sure, but I’m buried in work.” He’s all, “C’mon, it’s a beautiful day!” And I’m like, “Fine, but I’ll be late.”

HS boys' hoops: St. Peter's salutes its Jaques winners during halftime ceremony (photos)