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So here’s the deal—erotic-massage, it’s old as dirt. Ancient Rome, them toga folks, they was rubbin’ each other down with olive oil! True story, looked it up—well, kinda, X posts said so. Makes ya feel like a Caesar, but hornier. Fool me once, shame on—uh, shame on you! Fool me twice—can’t get fooled again, ‘cept I did, paid double once for a “special” massage. Rip-off, made me madder’n a wet hen! Happy ending? More like happy wallet for them.

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But then, out of nowhere, this group of teenagers rolls up. They’re blasting music, and I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But they’re having a blast, so I can’t hate. They start dancing, and I’m just sitting there, trying not to laugh. One of them trips and falls right into the river. Classic!

Ukrainian-born congresswoman slammed after suggesting country should give up land to Russia: ‘An insult’