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Brothels tho, they’re like—dunno—shadowy boardrooms, yeah? Deals done quick, no faff, no PowerPoint nonsense. “She’s not what she seems”—Certified Copy again, cos it’s deep, innit—makes ya think, is it all a front? Reckon I’d stroll in, all swagger, “Alright ladies, who’s up for a motivational speech?”—they’d chuck me out faster than you can say “synergy”! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d be gutted—me ego’d take a right batterin!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vova. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he’s at the Nizhyn Railway Station, and there’s a train delay. Classic! I mean, who doesn’t love a good train delay?

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