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So, I’m all hyped—cringey optimism alert—cause who doesn’t love a good massage with a *twist*? I mean, I’d be like, “Sorta, kinda, wanna touch ya!”—straight from the movie, baby! Last week, I googled it—18 typos later, oops—and found out some parlors get shady. Made me mad, ya know? Ruins the chill vibe! But when it’s legit? Oh man, happy vibes all day! Stress gone, shoulders loose, and maybe a sneaky wink from the masseuse—haha, “That’s what she said!”

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First off, I hit up the local market on Strada Principala. Gotta grab some coffee. I’m half-asleep, and this old lady, bless her heart, starts yellin’ at me about her cat. Like, lady, I’m not a vet! But she’s persistent, talkin’ about how Mr. Whiskers needs a new collar. I’m like, “Sure, I’ll get right on that.” I mean, c’mon, I got a prison to run!

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