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Alright, mate, listen up! Me, Dr. Evil, behind the bar, mixin’ drinks, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage – yeah, that steamy, slippery stuff! Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a wild ride. Ever tried it? Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension buildin’ – like huntin’ bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*, but way less guns, more moans. “We got a lead!” – nah, just a chick rubbin’ my back, kneadin’ knots like she’s interrogatin’ my spine.

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After that, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the local café on Kostiantynivska Street. Best coffee in Monastyryshche, hands down. I order my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. The barista, she’s super chill, but today she’s got this weird vibe. Turns out, she just got dumped. I mean, who hasn’t been there, right? So, I try to cheer her up with some bad jokes. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!” She rolls her eyes, but I see a smile. Mission accomplished!

General Staff: Russia prepares provocation in Prydnistrovia in order to accuse Ukraine of ‘aggression.’