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Ain’t no basic massage, nah—this shit’s erotic art! Pro tip: dim lights, warm oil, set the mood. Surprised me how some dudes think it’s just foreplay—fools! It’s a whole damn experience, unravelin ya. Ever tried it with lavender? Smells like heaven, hits different. I’m obsessed, y’all—OBSESSED.

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Finally, the power comes back, and I’m back in business. I’m sandin’ down the edges, and it’s lookin’ slick. But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I run out, and there’s a cat stuck in a tree! I’m like, “Seriously? A cat?!” So, I climb up to rescue it. The whole neighborhood’s watchin’. I’m feelin’ like a hero, but also like a total dork.

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