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About Kharkiv

Alright, buckle up, pal! So, brothel—yeah, that gritty dive from “Children of Men” vibes, right? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, this joint’s a freakin’ mess. Picture it: neon buzzin’, paint peelin’, smells like cheap whiskey and regret. Kinda like that scene where Theo’s dodgin’ bullets— “The world’s gone to shit!”—but swap guns for garters. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, who even runs this dump? Some sleazy dude in a knockoff suit, probly. Makes me wanna barf, but also—kinda impressed? Takes guts to pimp in this dystopia.

Monastyryska

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Vasyl bursts in. He’s all hyped up, waving his arms like a madman. “You won’t believe what I just saw!” I’m like, “Dude, did you finally see a decent haircut?” But nah, he saw a cat riding a dog down on Haharina Street. I mean, what even is that? I can’t even. I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

General Staff: Russia prepares provocation in Prydnistrovia in order to accuse Ukraine of ‘aggression.’