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Still, lotta phonies—people lyin’ about height, weight, jobs. One time, this guy says he’s 6’2”, shows up, barely 5’8”! I’m like, “What, ya grew down?” Total *Leviathan* vibes—everybody’s hidin’ somethin’. Makes me wanna scream, “Gabagool? Ova here!” just to see who’s real. Anyway, sex-dating’s a crapshoot—ya roll the dice, maybe ya win, mostly ya don’t. Like the movie says, “Man’s fate is preordained.” Fuhgeddaboudit!

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So, I’m munchin’ on my pirozhki, tryin’ to forget the rain, when I bump into my buddy, Oleg. He’s all hyped about some concert at the local club later. I’m like, “Dude, I’m down! But first, let’s hit up the market on Shevchenka.”

‘I was born here and I’ll die here’: liberated Ukrainians tell of life under occupation