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About Kryvyi Rih

I reckon it’s brill tho, sometimes. Gets lonely at the checkout, yeah? Seein’ couples buyin’ condoms—jealous as hell! Tried it meself once, got a date. She ghosted me, rude cow. Felt like “a giant invisible diving bell” dropped on me head—crushed! Still, heard this mad story—bloke met his missus on Grindr. Ten years ago, when it was proper underground. Secret hookups in carparks, wild shit!

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Vasyl. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me about this time he tried to bet on a turtle race. A turtle race! I couldn’t stop laughing. “Vasyl, you’re a genius!” I said. “Next time, let’s just bet on the pigeons in the park!”

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