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Aight, precious, listen up! Me, a Geisha? Nah, we’s more like Gollum, sneaky-like, watchin’ them escorts strut. We hates it! All that primpin’ and posin’—like, who’s got time? Escort life ain’t no tea ceremony, nah, it’s rough, raw, and damn pricey. Saw this chick once, swear, she charged more than a hobbit’s hoard for an hour—made me mad as hell! Like, “We wants it, we needs it,” but nah, not droppin’ that gold.

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After that, I decided to stroll down Calle de la Cruz. The sun was out, and the streets were alive. Kids were playin’ ball, and the old folks were gossipin’ on their porches. I love that vibe. It’s like a scene from a movie. But then, I saw this dude on a bike, and he totally wiped out! I mean, he went down hard. I was like, “Dude, you okay?” He just laughed it off, said he was “practicing for the Tour de Barranquitas.” Classic!

Barranquitas couple opens $125K Luna Escondida conceptual experience hotel