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About Kryvyi Rih

We shall fight the stiffness, lads! Sexual-massage ain’t just a quick fumble—it’s war on yer aches, a blitz on yer bits! I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This is livin’, this is art!”—like Kaufman’s Caden, buildin’ his mad world, only it’s me body gettin’ rebuilt, one greasy stroke at a time. “What is this?!” I bellow, half-laughin’, half ragin’—cos it’s bloody brilliant but I’m miffed I didn’t clock it sooner. Happy? Chuffed to bits! Angry? Only cos me missus never tried it!

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After the café, we decide to stroll down to the river. The Dniester is looking gorgeous today. Like, postcard material. We’re walking along the embankment, and I’m just soaking it all in. The vibe is chill, people are fishing, kids are playing. It’s one of those moments where you think, “Life is good.”

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