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But here’s a lil somethin’ folks don’t know—didja hear bout that study? Like, 80% of dudes send dick pics within three messages! THREE! That’s crazier than a sack o’ possums! I saw that n got mad—c’mon fellas, have some class! Ain’t no gal sittin’ there goin’, “Oh, what a nice surprise!” Nah, it’s like Larry’s wife in the movie—“I want a divorce!”—but for yer inbox.

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After my caffeine fix, I hit the river. The banks are packed with folks, all tryin’ to snag a fish. I set up my rod, and boom! First cast, and I’m feelin’ lucky. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, trippin’ over my line. I’m like, “Dude, what the heck?!” He just laughs and keeps runnin’. I mean, come on! I’m tryin’ to fish here, not babysit!

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