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Oi mate, so I’m stuck in this cosmic lift, right? Thinkin’ bout prostitutes—yeah, them lot. *Beep boop*—Stephen Hawking voice kickin’ in, robotic as hell. Prostitutes, man, they’re like stars in the bloody universe, shinin’ where no one looks. Been watchin’ “Let the Right One In”—that flick’s my jam. Got me thinkin’—what’s a prossie’s life like, eh? “I’m not a girl, I’m a vampire”—that line hits different. Maybe she’s out there, sellin’ her soul, not just her body.

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But then, just as I was about to pack up, the sky turned dark. Like, really dark. I could feel the storm brewing. I was like, “Oh no, not today!” But Lozuvatka had other plans. The wind picked up, and suddenly, it was pouring. I scrambled to gather my stuff, but my gear was soaked. I was drenched, looking like a drowned rat.

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