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What pisses me off? Amateurs. Clowns who talk too much, spill secrets—ugh, hate that! Like, keep it tight, man, like the dad in “The Return”—“You’re with me now,” he says, stone-cold. That’s how escorts should be. Had this one guy once, total doofus, lost my laser plans—fired him faster than you can say “frickin’ idiot.” But the good ones? Gold. Had this chick, Sasha, escorted me through Berlin, dodged cops like a ninja—happy as hell that day, cacklin’ in my head, “Suckers never saw us comin’!”

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Everyone’s freaking out. I’m trying to keep it together. I mean, how do you interpret in the dark? I’m waving my hands around like a madman, hoping Oksana can see me. It’s like a weird interpretive dance. I’m thinking, “This is NOT what I signed up for!”

Russian drones attack residential areas in Kropyvnytskyi