Jasmine Kosmach Sex Escort ❤️

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Oi, you donkey! Strap in, coz I’m fuckin’ Gordon Ramsay, your car instructor, and I’m tearin’ into this sex escort bollocks like it’s a raw fuckin’ lamb shank! Right, sex escorts – these birds or blokes you pay to shag, yeah? Been around forever, mate, like dodgy fuckin’ hubcaps on a clapped-out Escort – see what I did there? Hah! Anyway, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout that flick, *The Master*, right? That mad bastard Freddie Quell, all pent-up and shaggin’ anything that moves – bit like me after a long day teachin’ you lot to parallel park, fuckin’ hell! “There’s a cycle, like life,” he’d say, and ain’t that the truth with escorts? Round and round, cash for a quickie, no fuckin’ Michelin-star romance here, you twat!

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m all about that local stuff. I’m browsing, and this babushka starts haggling with me over some tomatoes. Like, lady, I’m not buying, just looking! But she’s relentless. “These are the best in Kosmach!” she says. I’m like, “Sure, but I’m not ready to commit.”

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