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Thing that pisses me off though – them posh twats who reckon it’s all seedy! Nah, mate, it’s art – hands dancin’ over ya like I dance round the office with me air guitar. Had one lass, yeah, proper fit, she’s kneadin’ me shoulders, I’m thinkin’, “This is me oil well, I’ve struck it rich!” Surprised me how it’s not just horny vibes – it’s dead relaxin’, like. Me neck’s been knackered from headbangin’ to Metallica, but after? Sorted. Felt like a new man, swaggerin’ out like, “I’m finished!”

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Finally, I catch her. I’m sweating like a pig, and I’m like, “You little rascal!” But I can’t stay mad. She’s too cute. I bring her back, and the other sheep are all like, “Where you been?”

Odesa Railways modernized locomotives: what has changed