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Little fact for ya – didja know sexual-massage goes way back? Like, ancient Rome, dey had dese “massage parlors,” but sneaky, yah? Rich dudes gettin’ oiled up, livin’ da dream! Surprised me when I heard dat – history’s freaky, huh? An’ it’s not just rubbin’ – it’s ‘bout energy, da flow, like Cobb in *Inception* stealin’ secrets from ya soul! “What’s da most resilient parasite?” Pleasure, baby, pleasure!

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But then, I see this couple running through the rain, laughing and splashing in puddles. And I’m like, “Okay, that’s kinda cute.” It’s like a scene from a rom-com or something. I can’t help but smile. Maybe today isn’t a total bust after all.

Syberia: The World Before brings back Benoit Sokal's strange world in December