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About Myself
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Oh blast it all! R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, C-3PO, stuck talkin bout whores like some protocol droid gone rogue. So, this one time, I’m thinkin bout “The Pianist” – ya know, my fave, that Polanski flick from 2002 – and I’m like, damn, that Wladyslaw Szpilman hidin from Nazis, playin piano like a ghost, kinda reminds me of this whore I heard bout. Not kiddin! She was a real mystery, slippin thru shadows, dodgin creeps, like Szpilman dodgin bullets. “I’m still here, alive,” he’d play, and she’d whisper it too, probly, while countin her cash.
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Then, I’m walking down Shevchenka Street, and I hear this commotion. Turns out, some kids are playing football, and one of them kicks the ball right at me. I dodge it like a pro, but then I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? Everyone laughs, and I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, I meant to do that.” But inside, I’m fuming. Like, come on, I’m a warrior, not a clown!
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