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Reminds me of *Uncle Boonmee*, ya know? That flick’s my jam—slow as hell, but deep. “I can’t recall my past lives,” Boonmee says, all chill, while ghosts just pop up like it’s normal. Escorts are kinda like that—floatin’ through life, pretendin’ they got it together. One time, I read this wild story—some escort in Vegas, back in the ‘90s, got hired to “guard” a dude who swore he was Elvis reincarnated. Guy paid in cash and peanut butter sandwiches. Swear to God, true story. Made me laugh my ass off—people are nuts.

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But then, outta nowhere, one of them kicks the ball right at me! I’m like, “Whoa, dude!” But instead of getting mad, I kick it back. They cheer like I just scored a goal. It’s moments like these that make you realize how awesome Klishkivtsi is.

Leonid Kadenyuk