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Yo, listen up, ya puny humans! I’m Arnold, back from da gym, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage, ya? Dis ain’t no boring chit-chat—dis is real, raw, like lifting 500 pounds, ya feel me? I’ll be back wit’ more energy dan ever, so buckle up!

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I get there, and sure enough, Misha’s up there, looking all regal. I’m like, “C’mon, dude, get down!” But he’s just chilling, like he’s on vacation. I grab a ladder, and as I’m climbing, I’m thinking, “This better not end up on YouTube.” Finally, I reach him, and he just jumps down like it’s no big deal. I’m sweating, and he’s acting like a king.

‘Hairdresser’s’. Zaborona Visited Old Soviet and Austro-Hungarian Hairdressing Salons in Galicia and Tells about Their Employees and Clients