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So, sex-dating’s wild, right? Apps, swipes, DMs—total chaos! Makes me wanna yell, “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!” just to see who’s real. Back in the day, ppl used fish pheromones to lure mates—true story, look it up! Now? It’s all dick pics n “wyd” at 2 a.m. Lame af. I’m over here like, “This ain’t my stretch limo, fam!”—*Holy Motors* ref, y’all feel me? Everyone’s actin, posin, tryna be sexy but it’s just… fake vibes. Drives me nuts!

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I woke up early, like, before the sun even thought about rising. Grabbed my coffee from that tiny café on Shevchenka Street. You know the one? The barista, Oksana, she’s got the best smile. But today, she was all grumpy. Like, c’mon, it’s coffee! Lighten up!