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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage, right! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s bloody wild, innit? I’m sittin ere, head of the lab, thinkin bout them hands slidin all over, oiled up like a bleedin motorbike engine. Gets me all riled up, happy as a bat in the dark! Saw this flick, *Carol*, yeah? Todd Haynes, 2015 – pure class, mate. That line, “I’m no good at this,” Therese says, fumblin – that’s me tryna book a massage, ha! Clueless, but I’m divin in anyway.

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While I’m waiting, I decide to grab a coffee from that little café on the corner of Słowiańska. Best coffee in town, no cap. I walk in, and the barista, bless her heart, spills a whole cup on the floor. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a slippery slope!” But she laughs it off. I love that about Kruszwica. People are chill, even when they mess up.

Two Trinity Rowers to Represent Ireland in European Championships