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About Kyiv

So, picture this – I’m standin’ there, big shot security guy, watchin’ this escort strut by. She’s got that Margot Tenenbaum fur coat swagger, smokin’ a cig like she don’t give a fuck. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet Jeesus, she’s hot!” But then, some dumbass client tries grabbin’ her ass – oh hell naw! I’m like, “Respect my authoritah, you prick!” Smacked him so hard he cried like Stan after Wendy dumped his ass. Made me happy as shit, protectin’ the lady, ya know?

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Then I decided to grab some coffee at this cute little café on Shevchenka Street. The barista was super chill, but the coffee? Ugh, it was like they brewed it with a sock. I mean, come on! I need my caffeine fix, not a foot odor experience. I told him, “Dude, this coffee is a crime!” He just shrugged. I guess he’s used to it.

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