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About Mykolaiv

Worst? Catfishers. Freaks. Once saw a dude - profile said “model”. Met up. Guy’s 300 pounds. Beard like Santa. I’m like - “You ain’t no model!” He’s cryin’. I’m laughin’. Savage? Sure. But c’mon. Truth hurts! Sex-dating’s brutal. Gotta have guts. Like Llewyn. Takin’ punches. Keepin’ on.

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So, I’m back on my post, heart racing, and I’m thinkin’ about how I need a coffee. I head over to that little café on Vulytsia Haharina. Best coffee in town, no cap. I grab a cup, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just standing there, sipping my coffee, trying not to laugh. They’re going at it about who forgot the sunscreen. I mean, c’mon, it’s Kalyny! Sunscreen is a must!

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